Chapter five: Growing Pains

“Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love.” - Rumi

This crisp autumn leaves flew up in the air, swirling around creating a storm of bright oranges and yellows before they fell to the ground. The heavy boot kicked into another pile of leaves, enjoying the sound of the crunch. The sun was setting in the horizon, its warmth no longer blanketing the chilly breeze which grazing against Khushi's cheeks. The growing breeze tangled with her unruly curly locks as they danced around her, making it hard for her to see.  She pulled the hood of the coat over her head in a bid to save herself from the cold and her hair but all attempts were in vain.

Garima had just finished her coffee as Khushi burst through the front door, her smile instantly lighting up the quiet home.
"How was the match?" Garima enquired as Khushi dumped her coat and bags at the door and skipped into the kitchen. Garima shook her head knowing it was pointless scolding Khushi for leaving her things wherever she pleased. 'Just like her father.' She thought to herself with a smile.  Though Andrew's absence was ever constant, having Khushi had made it easier for Garima to hold onto the memories without drowning in the pain.

"Well, we won of course." Khushi answered with a big grin before reaching for an apple from the fruit basket.
"Of course." Garima agreed. "You didn't hurt yourself did you? We are going up to see Gammy and Pops this weekend and I don't want them to worry after seeing you covered in bruises."
"Maa, I'm fine...but I think I broke Munch's finger." Khushi looked at the apple twirling it around in her hand and after giving it a long look of disgust placed it back into the bowl.
"What?!"
"I didn't do it on purpose Maa, chill. She was tackling me and my hockey stick hit her finger, it's ok she is getting checked out, coach said it was no biggie, it wasn't like I attacked her. It was an accident." Khushi explained jumping onto the breakfast stool.
"Oh, Munch?" Garima asked confused as to who this was and why these kid came up with ridiculous nicknames for each other.
"Uff ho Maa, Manisha Patel, Payal's cousin."
"Oh acha, I should call her mother to apologise." Garima nodded to herself before picking up her mobile phone. Khushi rolled her eyes and pushed herself off the stool, looking out into the garden and then peeking around into the living room.
"Maa, where is your laadla?" Khushi asked, pulling off her bulky sweater to reveal the brilliant white t-shirt underneath.
"Where do you think he is?" Garima smiled placing the phone to her ear as she waited for the call to be answered. Khushi smiled as her eyes sparkled with mischief.

***

He was sat in the library where he would always be found if he was waiting for Khushi. And she found him there, always choosing to sit next to the window instead of the fireplace. She felt her heart flutter a little as it always did when she saw him. She crept into the room, suppressing her giggles as she tip toed over to an unsuspecting Arnav, who was too engrossed in the book he was reading to notice her reflection I the window in front of him.

"Hi!" She squealed as she jumped over the back of the arm chair, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing her freezing cheek against his warm one, making him shoot up.
"What the-." The book fell to the floor with the soft thump as Arnav looked at the crazy haired girl with both amusement and annoyance. "Your face is fucking cold." He frowned rubbing his now cold cheek with his hand. He was tall and getting taller much to Khushi's distaste. Or maybe not. She liked him being taller than her, broader than her; it made her feel safe when he was around. Be at home or in school.
She began to creep towards him with a manic look in her eyes and evil grin on her lips.
"Ok." Arnav chuckled edging away.
"Frosty fingers." Khushi sang as she began to reach out to him.
"No!" He warned before jetting out of the room with a squealing Khushi behind

"Would it kill you to buy some gloves?!" He shouted over his shoulder as he ran down the corridor with Khushi hot on his heels.
"Where's the fun in that meri jaan." She laughed manically as she chased him, her fingers reaching out to grab his shirt. And then there was a loud thud.

Arnav skidded to a halt as he knew the sound all too well. He slowly turned on his heels to see Khushi sprawled on the dark hardwood floor, her fierce mane fanning out her hands stretched out, completely still. His feet had began to move towards her even before his mind had time to register what had happened.

"Khush!" He took her shoulders and turned her over, brushing away the tangled locks that fell upon her face. "Khush." He called to her again but she was still, her eyes that were heavily lined with kohl refusing to open. His mind began to flood with reason and causes. 'Concussion, trauma, brain bleed, what if she's been hiding something from me? She wouldn't. She's fine, she is healthy. She is fine. She's not going anywhere.'

Khushi peeked through the crack of her eye lid to see Arnav  watching over her, his hands safely on her shoulders, his utterly ridiculous handsome face ridden with worry. She knew that he had all but forgotten about why he was being chased in the first place and took advantage of the golden opportunity.

He saw it then a small smile spread across her lips before her eyes flew open and her laughter once again rang in the hall way. He felt her a small hands slid under his shirt and up to his chest.
"Frosty Fingers!" She giggled which masked the gasp that escaped her lip as she felt the new forming muscles along his torso. But Arnav couldn't feel her hands or the frost bite, his mind was numb.

"You were pretending?" He asked as his grip on her small shoulders tightened. The hurt was evident in his voice as pain swept into his molten eyes. "Why would you do that?!" He snapped.
"Aru-." Khushi looked up at him confused, not understanding his sudden outburst.
"You had me worried sick you idiot!" He spat at her making her fingers recoil and tears flood into her eyes.
"It was just a joke." She whispered. Arnav closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he pulled her up into his arms.
"Don't. Don't ever do that again, not even for a laugh." He held her close in his arms as her wound around him.  She sat confused in arms, not being able to understand how she had hurt him but knowing that she had no intention to ever cause him any pain. Pain. It was all he ever felt for a very long time and it reminded her of all the letters that they had shared at a time when he had lost it all.

And  then it struck her, the devastation in his voice, the hurt, the betrayal, the feeling of being mocked. She pulled away looking up at him shaking her head at the same time.
"No, no no that's not what I meant." She looked at him searchingly hoping he would understand. "I would never make fun of what happened." Khushi promised as she remembered how he had found his mother after she had decided that her life was not worth living. "I would never do that to you Aru."
"I know, I am sorry I freaked out." Arnav let out a small laugh shaking his head
"I am sorry too." Khushi snuggled back into his arms feeling relieved that he wasn't mad at her and that he understood her.

He felt her snuggle closer to him. Her small arms wrapping around his waist, her head resting against his chest, her hold tightening on him. He was use to her hold, her touch and kisses on the cheek. She was never one to hold back, always affectionate towards those she deeply cared for. But things where changing, he could feel it. Both within himself and her. 'It's the hormones.' He told himself understanding the changes that both their bodies were going through, rationalising his thoughts and the way his body reacted to her. 'It's Khush, the curly haired she devil. She has no effect on me, she has no effect on me, she has no effect on me.' He repeated the mantra to himself before his eyes fell upon her shoulder, the bright red bra visible through the white t-shirt.

"We should go." He said quickly getting up to his feet before blood could rush to a certain part of his anatomy.
"Where?" Khushi asked still sitting on the floor, confused.
"Erm, cake? I can do with some cake." He smiled offering his hand and helping her up.
"You're always hungry these days."
"Its double chocolate fudge cake."
"Well what the hell are we doing here?" Khushi asked before marching towards the kitchen. "Wasting my time." She mumbled under her breath and then stopped when she noticed he wasn't following. "Why are you standing there? Don't you want some? Don't start crying if I eat the whole thing and then-."
"I'll race you." Arnav smirked and then jetted off down the hall.

***

They were both sat at the dining table, their forks digging into the Tupperware the housed the cake.
"We should really save some for Aki." Khushi suggested as she scoffed down another piece of the cake.
"By the time he's done with his revision we will be on our third cake this week."
"I am gonna get fat if I don't stop eating all this junk food."
"And then who will ask your fat ass out to prom?" Arnav added earning him a jab of the elbow from Khushi .
"Speaking of dates, David finally asked me out!" She exclaimed excitedly but not too loud. Arnav's smirk faltered as he gathered his thoughts. He looked down at the cake not knowing what it was he was meant to do or say. Was he supposed to be happy? Congratulate her? Share dating secrets? He sure as hell didn't feel like it.
"Does G know?"H e asked after clearing his throat.
"No shhh." Khushi frowned.
"Ah, still with the whole , no dating until your GCSE's are over?" Arnav guessed as he loaded his fork up with more of the chocolaty good. Thankful of the dating rules put in place.
"Yes which is ridiculous because I don't finish my GCSE's until next year! By the way you have to save all your revision notes, I am going to want copies. Shouldn't you be revising, since it's your final year?" Khushi rambled out in a single breath, never failing to astonish Arnav.
"Dave?" Arnav bought her back onto the topic strangely needing all the information he could get.
"Yes! Can you believe it 'cause I can't.  After all these months of flirting and texting and calls and casual run-in's at the Milk Shake Factory, he finally asked me out. We are going for a movie and then to a friend's party. You'll cover for me right?" She asked with big bright hazel eyes as he watched her fizz with excitement.  He wanted to say no, that she should not be dating anyone let alone that David.  "Aru? You'll cover for me right? I covered for you all these times." She said shaking his shoulder and shaking him out of his thoughts.
"Yeah, of course I'll cover for you." He said trying to mask his discomfort. He knew David form his history classes and he seemed like a nice enough guy. But then so did he at first, but one only had to look at the trail of broken hearts he left behind him to see how far from the truth that was.
They both sat at the dining table, their forks fighting for the last piece of cake.

***

"G,G,G,G,G,G! Save me!" Arnav held onto Garima's shoulders who was trying to have a conversation over the phone.
"Stop it the pair of you this instance! Khushi, leave him alone. Arnav, go home." Garima scolded.
"No!" Came the unanimous response. Arnav smirked down at Garima before whispering something into her ear.
"Badmaash!" Garima gasped, completely scandalised at what Arnav had just said and swatted his arm.
"I want to know! I want to know!" Khushi sang but was ignored as Arnav continued to smirk at Garima who continued to swat at his arm before doubling with laughter.
"I'll call you later." She said into the phone before cutting the call. Arnav stood behind her wrapping his arms around her shoulders as she wiped away the tears.  "What were you reading today beta?"
"Hello? We were in the middle of something?!" Khushi asked incredulously at both her mother and best friend.
"Yes yes, but I am bored now and in need of more intelligent company so, as you were." Arnav dismissed with a wave and smile. Khushi rolled her eyes at them both.
"That's what she said." Khushi retorted sticking her tongue out at him before turning to leave.

"That's what who said?" Garima asked making Arnav chuckle.
"It's nothing, Amma." He rested his chin on her shoulder as she placed a loving hand on his cheek.  He would always remain grateful to Garima for allowing him to call her by that name. It hadn't taken long, after his move back, to find where Khushi had got her warmth from. Garima had provided him with comfort, love and understanding, all of which was neither suffocating nor obligated. She welcomed him into her home and her life because she wanted to not that she had to. And although he loved his Mami and Mama immensely, he could never allow himself to get too attached. He couldn't risk being the reason Akash not getting the attention and love he deserves and had a right to.

"What's on your mind?"Garima asked.
"Nothing." Arnav shook his head.
"Are you going to lie to me?" Garima turned to look up at him as he stole his gaze away. Stepping away he took the stool next to her reaching for the bright red apple.
"Never." He simply replied looking down at the apple turning it around in between his palms.
"Then tell me."
"Khush would kill me if I tell you." Arnav laughed already thinking of all the threats Khushi would screaming at him and his balls.
"Is this about that David boy?" Garima asked with a knowing looking as she placed her palms on the table.
"How do you know?" Arnav's head snapped up at a not so surprised Garima.
"She keeps going on about him, it's obvious enough. She isn't the subtlest of creatures. So what now, has the boy showed any interest in her?" Garima asked her eyes set on Arnav as he felt the pressure of staying honest to the woman he calls his mother and his best friend.
"I don't know." He shrugged, thinking that this would be a better answer than a simple yes or no.
"Liar." Garima waved as she stepped down from the stool and made her way to the oven.
"Am not." Arnav Protested.
"Are too. I know she's going to break the dating rule in a desperate attempt to fit in and be another  15 year old sheep. She doesn't realise that her wisdom beyond her years is her saving grace and is probably the exact reason why she has not ended up on MTV's Teen Mom."  Garima said as he took out the casserole dish placing it on the cooling rack whilst Arnav began to set the table.

"They call her a grandma, it's not easy on her." Arnav defended. As hard as it was to believe Khushi was wiser and more mature than her peers. She didn't give into peer pressure when it came to drinking or smoking or bumping class. She didn't take trips into the city and she wasn't always wearing the trendiest of clothes or the most exclusive of brands, despite the wealth she was born into. But she had fun none the less, something which the other kids found hard to understand.
"They're not easy on you either." Garima said quietly.
"It's different for me, I am a guy. I score a couple of goals, get a couple of numbers and I am the man."
"A couple of numbers, that's being modest." Garima chuckled.
"G, don't start."
"Oh well it's at no fault of your own, my beta is so handsome." She beamed whilst squeezing his cheeks.
"Amma!" He protested making her chuckle. "I'll look out for her."  He promised, answering the silent request Garima was making. She nodded thanking him in return. "So what book were you reading today?"
"White Nights." Arnav smiled as he set the cutlery.
"Ah, Dostoevsky."
"I really want to visit St Petersburg now." Arnav smiled. He continued to share his experience of reading the book, being able to somewhat be transported to a dream, away from here, watching the story and the heartbreak unfold.

***

Khushi was lying down on the bed staring up at the ceiling humming a tuneless song to herself, waiting patiently. Things hadn't turned out quiet the way Akash had imagined. Yes, Khushi did spend a lot of time with Arnav but the she also spend time with him and the three of them would make time to hang out as a trio. He had misunderstood her, believing her to run away with the first new toy she got.  But she didn't. She may be Arnav's best friend but he would always remain her best friend, a promise she made to him time and time again.

"Be quiet!" He snapped at her before returning to his book and pacing the room.
"Aki if you read anymore your brain will begin to melt and what use will your melted brain be for the mock exam. Oh yeah remember that? It's a bloody mock exam!" Khushi waved her hands in despair as she got up from the bed.
"Our grades for the mock will determine our papers for next year." Akash said in a distant voice, his mind too busy taking in the information he was reading.
"Akiii." She whined stamping her feet but it was no use; Akash continued to ignore her and continued to read the book in hand.

Doing well just wouldn't be enough. He had to give it his all even if it consumed him. His GCSE's would determine the college he would attend which in turn would determine the University he could attend. There was a lot at stake and there was little his brother Arnav could do to take the pressure off.

"What are you doing? You know we are not allowed to use the PC in the study." He hissed over Arnav's shoulder who was frantically tapping away at the keys.
"Relax it will be another hour or so before they get back." Arnav dismissed as he moved around the desk at lightning speed, shifting from the PC to the scanner and the printer before returning to the PC.
"What are you doing? Wait...those are our results."
"I knew you would beat on the maths, I got an A last year and here you are with an A star but that's because you have a calculator for a brain...Hey, your grades have gone up. Good job buddy." Arnav looked up from the papers to give Akash a smile who looked puzzled at first and then offended.
"Are you taking the piss?" Akash challenged. Arnav shook his head and turned back towards the screen.
"You're grades have gone up, you smashed it in maths and you'd think Mama would be happy with that right? I mean we're Indian, as long as we are good at counting our money we do ok in life." Arnav explained as he began to put his plan into action. "But when he comes home tonight and finds your results and see's that they are not all A's, you're going to get an earful in the morning."
"Why do you care?"  Akash asked as he felt his defence give away.
"Mami got the Photoshop software for Christmas this year and what use is Photoshop if you can't use it to forge some exam results." Arnav continued to work on the papers choosing not to answer the question. "Mama, will see the papers pat you on your back and all will be well in Pleasantville."
"Why are you changing your grades? Wait you're lowering your grades?!"
"Almost done."
"I'm not going to lie to them."
"We're not lying to them, just Mama. I'll explain everything to Mami, She'll understand."
"I said we are not lying."
"Do you enjoy the constant comparisons, 'cause I don't."
"It's all your fault-."
"Actually it isn't. I know you're going to say that if it wasn't for me your life would have been all rainbows and shit but that's just not true." Arnav said, getting up from the desk and making his way to printer. "There would have been some other kid that you would have been pitted against...He's your father, he loves you, he wants the best for you and also expects you to do your best."
"I don't need you to tell me this, I know-."
"Here, put this back in the envelope."
"I m not going-."
"You don't have a choice." Arnav said and for the first time in his life took a threatening step towards Akash, who saw something in Arnav's eyes enough to make him do as he was told. "It's just this once." He said as Akash took the papers. "We will work on the rest of your grades together, we won't b able to lie about your G.C.S.E grades. I know some things come easier to you than others but it just means you have to work a little harder on the rest. I've saved all my notes we can go through them together." Arnav turned to the PC and began to wipe all signs of any recent activity.

"Why do you care?" Akash asked again making Arnav stop at the door.
"I'm not here to break a family, I don't want to come between you and Mama, I came here in the hopes of gaining a friend, a brother. I hope you, that one day, you will allow me that place in your life."

Akash felt the book in his hand being snatched away as his thoughts returned to the present day. His eyes followed the book to see it being thrown onto the bed by Khushi.
"You've been no fun lately, I have exams too." She frowned whilst folding her arms making Akash smile.
"If I want my grades-." He began to explain again making his way over to his bed to collect his book but Khushi stopped him.
"You're grades are fine you're achieving above average."
"Well I need to be better than average." He countered moving her out the way and grabbing his book.
"Is this because of Mahu Uncle? Has Aru said anything? Aki you're fine the way you are." She urged wanting her old partner in crime back, the one who had got lost in the all the books somewhere.  Her acceptance of him warmed his heart. He wanted nothing more than to ditch the books and cause mayhem like they always did.
"I am doing this for me. And for Arnav, I owe it to him after all the help he has given me." Akash answered honestly hoping that she would understand, needing for her to know that he missed being with her as much as she missed him.
"What has he done to you?" Khushi asked with a bewildered look as her eyes shuttered with confusion making Akash laugh for the first time that day. No one was able to put a smile on his face the way she did.

***

He gulped down the lump in his throat as the sound of her slurping filled the silent room. He was hypnotised, unable to take his eyes off of her as her own closed in pure pleasure. "MMm" She moaned satisfaction began she suck again, the tip of her tongue peeping out to lick, her plump lips sealing. Arnav could feel beads of sweat forming at his hairline, threatening to spill over onto his brow but he didn't want to move in case he might shatter this exquisite vision, he didn't want to break her from her zone.

She pulled back as she began to choke, her eyes watery , her hands covered in sticky mess.
"It' hit the back of my throat." Khushi choked making Arnav snap out. 'You sick bastard' he told himself as he began to rub her back.
"Khush, you ok? Is that better?" He asked still rubbing her back as she took sharp deep breaths. She nodded in response and took the glass of water that was offered to her buy Akash.

"I told you not eat the sherbet straws like that. I told you." Akash said shaking his head s he helped his friend with the water. Khushi threw him cold glare hating the fact that he was right. The sting of the sweet sour powder slicing her throat made her wince before another glass of water was shoved in her hand. "And what were you doing?" Akash asked Arnav. "I leave the room for two minutes and she's all but suffocating. Invalid." He said with evident disgust.

'I was too busy having inappropriate thoughts about her, how her perfectly ripe lips fit around the straw, how she sucks out the sourly sweet goodness, how it would feel to have those lips-to have her suck-STOP IT!' Arnav shook his head feeling it was best not to answer Akash's question.

***

"Since you're not dying anymore, I am going to go home."Akash said getting off the bed and rolling his eyes at an already pouty Khushi who was tucked into bed.
"Night, Khush." Arnav followed getting up follow his brother out of the room find a small hand holding on to his.
"Stay." She whispered.
"I can't." He answered  stepping away but still holding on. He was going to have to get use to not sleeping over anymore, it was only a matter of time before the parents put a stop to it.
"What do you mean you can't?!" She asked as confusion struck her again.
"Mama's already mad at me-."
"Yeh yeh your little attendance at a college party didn't go down to well like I said it wouldn't." Khushi reminded him but he merely shrugged. He enjoyed the party but that wasn't the sole purpose of his visit. Akash didn't make onto the football the news alone would have earned him a ripping into for a month or so. Distraction. That was what was needed and it was something he was willing to create.
"Khushi," and the butterflies in her stomach wreaked havoc at the way he called her name. "Get some sleep."
"Fine, but I'm leaving the window open."
"I won't be back."
"Who else is going to give me dating advice?!" She hissed delivering another unknown blow to him. Images of her with David flooded his mind and an unknown need to brand her as his own took root with in him. "Aru, I've never been on a date before and I'm shit scared." She said in her small sweet voice, her big hazel eyes looking up at him for comfort and it broke him. He looked over his shoulder at a waiting Akash who let out a sigh.
"I'll tell Moma G that you're staying over." Akash smiled, closing the door behind him.

***

The soft sound of his gentle, barely there, snore filled the room, engulfing her in a comfort of its own. She looked down at him, his head lying next to her feet, his own toes pointing towards her. Fool. She was an utter fool for thinking that she could fight the feelings she had for him. Her first crush, the first boy to make her heart beat a rhythm unknown, to make her stutter and act out of character and yet, the first to bring her closer to herself. To make her aware of herself, mind soul and now body.
She was having thoughts she had never had before. She wanted to hold him and wanted him to hold her back but in a romantic way, in a more intimate way. She wanted to claim him as hers so all wenches at school could no longer get their claws into him.  But she couldn't. He wouldn't.

Her heart sank at the thought of the date she was going to on the following day. It sank further as she remembered Arnav telling her that her how he always got a kiss goodnight from all his dates, how there was a glint in his eyes she didn't quiet recognise.

She sat up in bed drawing her knees up, chewing on her thumb, looking down at him. The moonlight from the window flooded over his sleeping form.  A kiss goodnight. She wasn't thinking as she carefully crept forward on her hands and knees towards him, hypnotised by him. And before she knew it, before she could stop herself, her lips fell upon his.